I recently lived in Denmark for a few months and need to get some opinions about this country out of my system. Luckily, Denmark is small, and I am not in great danger of meeting a lot of Danes outside Denmark, so I can be as mean as I want to be (sorry, Bjørn).
As a wealthy European nation governed by "social democrats", there actually are some real Danish crimes, but I wanted to keep this post lighthearted, so I will not dive into those. Google "denmark spiral case" and "denmark refugees seize assets" if you want to learn more.
Following the sandwich method, I will start with something positive about this country. Mads Mikkelsen is from there. Okay, that is enough; let's dive into the rotten part.
First, you need to be reminded, again, that Denmark is small. Everywhere, it looks the same, and it has the population of a small district of an Asian city. Paradoxically, Danes still believe their little country is significant in any way. They think that because they did not manage to get rid of their king (as civilized nations like France and Russia have accomplished) and because they have won the Euro that one time, only helped by the outbreak of the war in Yugoslavia. Did you know flying any flag except the Danish one on a pole mast is forbidden? And oh boy, you will see this flag (Dannebrog) when you come to Denmark. Patriotism is already dumb in any capitalist DotB, but in a country like Denmark, it borders on parody.
The weather in Denmark is generally depressing, and so is its nature. It is in the north, so it is usually wet and cold, but it doesn't even snow much since it is at sea level. So you are left with cold summers and winters that don't even have snow, all in a mostly farmland country with depressing beaches. In the winter, you can go for weeks without seeing the sun.
Let's look into the history of this country a bit. Did you know that during the Enlightenment, it kind of passed Denmark? Well, not really; a German doctor was in the king's service then and convinced him to do some reforms. Stuff like freedom of the press, abolishment of torture and serfdom, religious freedom, and so on. Of course, he was arrested and executed by the Danish populace. Well. He did have an affair with the queen, but people mostly disliked him because he was a German and a foreigner, and he did not respect the church enough.
Looking further back in history, we encounter some Danish kings with truly silly names. "Gorm the Old" was the first of them, followed by "Harald Bluetooth" (now, you might be thinking, 'Hey, did the Danish invent Bluetooth and name it after one of their viking kings?' No, of course not, it is a dutch invention) and "Sweyn Forkbeard". They just gave up at some point, and now every king is alternately called Christian or Frederick.
Another historical fun fact is that the majority of cabinets in Denmark have been led by the Social Democrats, and Denmark is considered a "model" social democratic country. I went to the "Workers' Museum" while in Copenhagen, and I found something hilarious: The Soviet Union gifted the Danish labor union a statue of Lenin, but they were already too revisionist to proudly present it. There was some debate about getting rid of it, but now, as it stands, the Lenin statue is just in some tiny backyard of this museum that you cannot enter as a visitor and only look at him through a glass window in the back of the museum's shop. Everything in Denmark sucks so bad.
We are reaching the end of my rant, so let's do a lightning round of dumb stuff in Denmark:
But let's end it with some positivity again: Pictures of Mads Mikkelsen.
